


An Ode to Letting Go

by Jamaican Princess (Rocquellan)



Series: An Ode To... [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheating, F/M, Infidelity, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:18:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocquellan/pseuds/Jamaican%20Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing about letting go is that it rarely ever works. Mary's first few days back at her parents with the boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Ode to Letting Go

“Mary, honey...”

Deanna Campbell looks down at her daughter solemnly, fighting the motherly instinct to just hug her daughter close and tell her everything will be fine. Except it won’t, because heartache won’t heal with just a mother’s soft touch and soothing words.

She should know.

“Grandma!” Dean jumps and waves his hands suddenly before dropping them too quickly, splashing bath water all over Mary and the hardwood floor.

Mary slaps the bath sponge into the water, stands and yells, “Dean!”

Dean quiets at Mary’s yell, slink down into the water until its right below his nose before looking up at his mother with green, frightened eyes.

At the look on her son’s face Mary instantly deflates, swallowing the fleeting anger before she drops to hug him tightly. She whispers softly. “I’m so sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Oh Mary...” Deanna has a hand at her mouth, trying to swallow the emotions surfacing like a wave at the scene. She just wishes she could be the one to make things better for her daughter and grand-children.

“M’sorry mommy, won’t make you mad anymore.”

Dean’s hold is tight, self assured and like a rock holding up her wavering spirit. Mary sobs out her ascent.

Deanna steps forward slowly. “Mary, why don’t you go check on Sam? I can finish up with Dean.”

Mary turns her head to look at her mother, who just stands there like it’s her heart being pierced. She wills the tears to stop and look back at Dean, being the brave little soldier by reassuring her with a blinding smile and it tugs at her heart. She returns it tenfold.  “Grandma is going to finish up here and I’ll go and fix both you and Sam a bedtime snack, how does that sound?”

“Peanut butter and jelly, mommy?”

Mary’s eyebrows knit together in question. “You hate peanut butter, Dean.”

Dean grabs the rubber duck floating around on top of the water between soap bubbles and says nonchalantly, “Sammy likes it, so I guess its ok.”

Mary cups her eldest’s cheek and smiles. “Ok.”

A few minutes later while she happily butters jelly on two slices of bread in the kitchen, Mary’s mood darkens when her father walks in, holding an empty tea cup and a full ash-tray. Ever since John entered her life, their relationship had become strained and she really wasn’t in the mood for another argument. Her first day over was a huge ‘I told you so’ mixed with “I’ma kill that boy!’ one.

No words are spoken as Samuel just puts the items down on the counter. She doesn’t spare him a glance and hopes he leaves, but he doesn’t. She tenses when she feels finger running softly through her hair.

“You gonna be alright?”

Her father’s voice is hesitant, compassionate (in the compact of his decorum) and just for tonight, she revels in having her father by her side instead of the hunter. She gives him a smile and nods, putting down the knife because her hands start to shake. Her father’s hand comes up to her neck and squeezes reassuringly.

“Your strong, Mary. You’ll get over this.”

Her father walks away and Mary watches his back, proud and strong and holds back tears. He never once mentioned John and the fact that she chose him over them. Not today.

When the sandwiches with the edges sliced off are both on the same plate -because Sam and Dean always ends up in one or the other’s bed while awake- are delivered to the kid’s room, decorated with constellations and drawings and superheroes. Mary enters to see her mother sitting reclined in the middle of Dean’s bed, on the Superman sheet, with Sam on the right, tucked under her arm and Dean on the left, who listen with rapt attention as she reads from a story-book.

“And the plane landed at the airport and everybody was safe.” Deanna read out loud.

It was Dean’s favourite book by extension, because Dean likes whatever Sam likes and for tonight it was _The Big Blue Plane And The Volcano_.

“Will the fire eat the plane?” Sam asks curiously and Dean pipes up quickly at his brother’s question. “No, Sammy, because volcanoes don’t eat anything, they burn like bacon in the frying pan.”

Sam nods and Dean turns to his grandmother and says. “Dad makes airplane sounds when he reads to us, grandma. Make airplane sounds!”

Sam and Dean are grinning and Mary’s smile slips.

“I wan’ daddy to read tomorrow, gra’ma.” Sam adds and Mary can feel a vice like grip in her chest.

“Um...” Deanna starts hesitantly, not knowing how to answer the boys and that’s when she looks up and spots Mary, relieved to see an easy escape route. “Sandwiches!”

Both boy’s head snaps up to look at her in the doorway and Mary forces a smile to her face before coming over to the bed with the plate.

“Mommy, Yay!” Sam squeals and Deanna shifts before sliding off the bed so Mary can take her former position.

“Go easy, boys.” Mary laughs as the boys paw at her to get to the plate. “Try not to get yourself messy, or you’re both going in the bath again.” She scolds lightly.

Deanna chuckles before leaving the three alone.

“Rubber ducky,” Sam says before taking his first bite and Dean breathes out a “Yeah, Sammy,” before biting into his.

When the sandwiches are polished off and sticky fingers are sucked clean (then wiped clean), Mary hugs her children close and kisses them both on the crown of their heads.

“Are you guys gonna sleep for me now?” she asks while carding fingers through both their hairs. Dean looks more droopy than Sam.

“I wan’ daddy to read tomorrow.” Sam yawns and Mary stiffens. Dean squeezes her middle tight and burrows into the side of her blouse under her arm. “Don’t want to make you angry, mommy.”

“Mmhm.” Sam breathes in ascent and Mary doesn’t know how to swallow this pill at all.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

The next night, Deanna pokes her head around the corner into the kid’s bedroom, clutching the cordless phone in both hands while watching Mary struggle to put the kids to bed. Mary has her back to her and she clears her throat before saying above the lilt of the boy’s talking/shouting. “He just wants to talk to them.”

“Tell him they’re asleep.” Mary bites out without turning around to look at her and Deanna just wants her daughter’s pain to stop.

“Sam, get back here!” Mary shouts when the baby jumps off the bed and run past her out the door.

Deanna clears her throat again, put the phone to here ear and relay Mary’s message.

John thanks her dearly for trying.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

“I WAN’ D-DADDY!”

Sam wails and throw an ear shattering tantrum on the fifth day that leaves the entire household on edge, and nothing Mary or her mother does manages  to calms her youngest. Her father couldn’t take the noise and left shortly after it started.

She has him in her right arm, with her left hand on his head holding it in place on her shoulder while she tries desperately to shush him but nothing works. She makes her way to the kitchen when another wail threatens to shatter her eardrums.

“Here, warm milk.”

Deanna shows her the bottle and Mary sits around the kitchen table before manoeuvring Sam into her lap.

“WAAAAAH!!!!”

“Here, baby, please drink.” Mary pleads desperately. Sam started nearly an hour ago and hasn’t let up since.

“WANNA DADDY!”

Mary’s cup feels full to overflowing when Sam spits the bottle out of his mouth and tries to get out of her arms. His face is completely red and there’s snot everywhere. He feels hot to the touch and she wishes he’d just stop and go to sleep. She slams the bottle on the table and Sam only wails harder. She stands and holds him with his head on her shoulder again, making shushing noises and nothing works. She looks to her mother pleadingly.

Deanna tried every trick she knew in the book and Sam would have none of it. She knew her grandson just misses his father. She had to be the one to explain to Sherriff Coy and Deputy Delaney what was happening when they arrived on her doorstep looking suspicious.

“God, Mom...”

Mary looks at her and rolls her eyes in exasperation and Deanna really felt for her. If only she would hear John out, he calls the house every night.

And right on cue, the kitchen phone starts ringing. Deanna runs to it and grabs it up, sighing in relief when she hears John’s voice. After a few exchanged words, she holds out the phone to her pacing daughter. “Mary, I really think you should let him talk to Sam.”

Mary eyes the phone like it’s the bane of her existence, but she caves when Sam makes another high pitched cry for his father like a wounded animal. She retakes her position at the dinner table before shushing Sam and then putting the phone to his ears. She couldn’t hear what John was saying, but slowly Sam starts to calm down, sniffling until he clutches at the phone and relax into her arm. She turns to her mother and mouths for her to get him some water. When her mother returns she wipes Sam’s nose first before slowly feeding him the clear liquid.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam is passed out where he lays in her arm, still clutching the phone and Mary hesitantly and as motionless as possible free Sam’s tight fingers from the plastic. She has all intention of hanging up the phone, but she felt curious as to what John was saying all this time and as silently as possible, she holds her breath and put the phone to her right ear.

_“…And the plane flew all the way around the volcano, over the trees and then the captain said, “Thank you everybody, we stopped the volcano from erupting...”_

Something in Mary’s stomach flips at the sound of John’s voice and their circumstance and she places the phone on its side on the table before stealthily manoeuvring Sam over her shoulder. She stands and makes her way up to the bedroom. When she walks through the bedroom door, she frowns at the sight of her mother soothing an obviously frightened Dean. She puts Sam in his own single bed with the wooden rails before she sits on the other side of Dean on his bed and hugs him. She looks at her mother quizzically. “What happened?”

Deanna cards her fingers through Dean’s hair before sighing. “He said Sam bit him when he tried to soothe him before you came.”

Mary hugs her son as close as possible and she pours all her love into it. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.”

Her heart broke further when Dean looks at her with eyes so sad and down she couldn’t bear it.

“Mommy, why would Sammy bite me?”

She looks at the hand that has red welts from the few teeth Sam has in his gums. She kisses him on the forehead, then the cheek and says, “He didn’t mean to honey, he was upset.”

She put his head on her chest with his body half hanging off hers and he clings to her like an octopus. Deanna slowly slips out of the bed and head outside.

“Because he wants dad? I want daddy too.”

Mary smiles a crestfallen smile while her fingers plays with her now sleepy son’s head, whose breathing slowly evens out while his eyes flutters close.

“I know baby, I know.”


End file.
